It has been a while since I have updated here. Most of you know why.

But I wanted to say thank you to my friends who have been here for me for the past two months, which have been the worst of my life. It's the little gestures, and in some cases the big ones, that have given me the motivation to wake up each morning and keep tugging along.

Each day is an eternity and so painful it's almost unbearable. But the little messages, cards & gifts I have been receiving have made them tolerable. I don't know what I'd do without you all. I have easily received more support from some of you than from my own family.

So thanks (you all know who you are) and I love you. I mean it. I love you all and am eternally grateful.

Where's the research?

Well it appears that most of you do not believe that enough scientific research has been put into UFO's.

Out of 12 of you, 11 said No, there has not been enough research done and 1 of you weren't sure. No one said Yes, they thought enough research had been done.

That's certainly not surprising. In recent years the American population has urged the US government to disclose what they know to the public. Even politicians have taken a stab at it. The outcry for the truth and formal scientific research becomes more and more deafening with each year that passes. Other countries have released once confidential UFO files to the public. With any hope, this will put enough pressure on the US to follow suit.

Here is a great site that should keep you busy for a while. There's a plethora of info and scientific research and evidence to be found here on UFO's: UFO Evidence

And don't forget to join the search! SETI@home


Enjoy!

Are We There Yet?

Well I bought myself a car today finally. It's a 2001 Saturn SC1 3 door coupe. The 3rd door is the kewlest little suicide door on the driver's side. It's fire engine red. Not a color I would normally choose but it makes it kinda look like a mini-Corvette. (Hey, I can pretend!)

Unfortunately my search for a car has not ended completely. Bff needs one as well since within a week of my car being obliterated, he sold the F-150.

Craigslist is totally the place to look for a used car at a good price. Screw dealers and auto-trader magazines. Craigslist is where it's at. And there's so many people selling cars that it creates some good competition and as a result.. low prices.

As much as I hate handing over giant wads of cash to strangers, it certainly feels good to have my own car again. The rental, a 2007 Dodge Charger, turned out to be RWD. Needless to say, it wasn't very useful in the past weeks' snow storms. In fact, I found myself wanting to abandon it in the middle of the road quite a few times.

Well, I told myself months ago that I wouldn't be x-mas shopping at the last minute,... that I'd get it done nice and early. Yeah, I didn't. Tomorrow I'll be beginning and completing my shopping. ;-)

I am anxious for the holiday to be over so I can relax. Today was uber stressful. Between the 2 hour round trip drive to the south shore and back, in traffic with the absolute best drivers that Boston has to offer (and by "best" I mean the most rude, obnoxious, oblivious and brain dead drivers) and some pretty bad news on the homefront, I almost lost it completely.

But I was able to FINALLY get home and eat some scallion pancakes and garlic noodles, watch my Netflix rental and drink some hot chocolate just in the nick of time.

You know,... before I crushed someone's neck with my bare hands...

The Case of the Phantom Plane

I live a stones throw from Logan Int'l Airport in Boston on Revere Beach. I have lived in and around this area my entire life. I am more than accustomed to all sorts of mass transit noises like low planes that rattle pictures on the wall, heavy traffic in the wee hours of the night and trains which are like clockwork for about 22 out of the 24 hours in the day.

You get very used to the sounds of planes when they are constant background noise for 20 something years of your life. So much so, that I can even tell when it's a British Airways plane and not a Northwest flight.

If I walked across the street and sat on the beach wall I could watch the planes come in off of the ocean, fly over my head and land less than a mile behind me 50-100 times a day, easy. And I certainly have done so on many occasions. If you don't get jet fuel dumped on your face, it can actually be quite relaxing.

That being said, something bizarre has been happening from time to time. On three separate occasions I heard, what sounded to me like a military plane flying overhead. Usually we don't get military planes around Logan, so when you hear something like that, you notice. Mostly they end up being Coast Guard since I also live within 3 miles of one of the country's largest liquid natural gas terminals. So, needless to say, when there's a shipment coming in, they activate the guard and seal that shit up tighter than a duck's ass.

Anywho, hearing the military plane in itself is definitely uncommon in this neighborhood, and worthy of a gaze skyward, but that's not the odd bit.

All three times this happened, there was not a plane in the sky.

The weather was clear and there were no planes to be found. It happened twice at night and once at dusk when it was still light out. On one occasion, bff and myself heard it, both looked up to search the sky (for about 30 seconds) and then finally looking back at each other declared, "I don't know what the fuck that was."

There is nothing stranger than staring into an empty sky and hearing a plane passing overhead. Of course I've run the usual doubts through my mind, but honestly, none of it jives with my experience. I mean, I realize that my brain could be playing a trick on me with some distant sound making it sound closer than it is... or maybe it's all that ecstasy I did in college... but seriously, this shit has me baffled.

If I had to come to a conclusion that fits with what I heard and "didn't" see, I'd have to say that there was a plane but it was somehow invisible. I'm talking Romulan cloaking device here people. lol

I realize that makes me sound crazy, but that's the best way I can describe it. If I didn't have a witness who basically came to the same conclusion, I'd most likely be scheduling sessions with a shrink.... who would probably give me electroshock or a lobotomy.

So, I'm curious to find out if anyone else has had anything similar happen. I guess it doesn't necessarily have to be limited to urban areas. There's gotta be others out there who have heard phantom planes...

Does this sound oddly enough like an episode of Scooby-Doo? Maybe I need a half-retarded dog and a smelly hippy to help me figure this one out.

Light Dawns on Marblehead

Things have really changed since last week.

At this time last week I was bedridden, in pain, and above all else, scared. Scared that I would lose everything. Crashed up car, beat up body and busted bank account. It was hard to see any glimmer of light in that dark tunnel. It was certainly fitting, as the last year of my life has been one of the hardest that I have endured. One long, dark road with no end in sight.

But like I have been saying all along (and only half- believing it myself) you can't stay at rock bottom forever. Things have to get better.

And they have.

I can say with certainty now that last week was the dramatic cliff-hanger ending to that long, sad chapter in my life.

Damn it feels good to start over.

My Ethereal Roomate

Let me set up the scene for you...

2 years ago; It's moving day and I'm lugging all my stuff into my new apartment. (the one I am in now). BFF and his brother cram my oversized, pillow-top, queen size mattress down the narrow staircase. Damn these basement apartments. It's a studio apartment, but it's far from being just one large square room. It has alcoves which gives it the illusion of having actual rooms.

So they finish setting up the bed frame in the "bedroom alcove", put the box-spring and mattress in place and then head outside for more boxes. I'm standing at the end of the bed, looking it over and wondering to myself whether I want to keep it in this spot or not. Before a sigh of minor frustration escapes my lips, someone beats me to it. Off to the right and back of myself I distinctly hear a man sigh, it's long and drawn out, almost playful. Spinning around and expecting to see either of my friends standing there, I blurt out, "Hello?"

Cliché. I know. lol

Well there was no one there, the boys were still outside and I was all alone. Sort of, anyway.

So, ever since and from time to time I see movement out of the corner of my eye in the kitchen. It seems that he likes to pace around in there. Occasionally I hear small noises in there too. I'm not exactly sure what he is up to, but I tend to leave him to it and not interfere.

Sometimes BFF and myself will be sitting on the couch and both of us will jolt our heads in the direction of the kitchen, look back at each other, and laugh because we both just saw him trot by. There have also been a handful of nights that I awake with the feeling that someone is there with me, complete with hair standing up on the back of my neck and goose bumps. But to be honest, I pray that it is just my ethereal roommate and not an intruder!

He does not seem interested in interacting with us at all. Back in the day I might have been inclined to whip out the scrying bowl or my tarot cards and see if he wanted to talk, but as I've gotten older I tend to let sleeping dogs lie. He doesn't bother me, so I don't bother him. It's like an unspoken arrangement that we are both very aware of. As long as he isn't poking holes in my expensive sheets it's all good.

Well something interesting happened on Halloween this year. I was in the apartment upstairs with friends, including a couple of people whose family built and owns the house. Someone in the family has lived in it ever since then, which I believe was in the 50's.

Anywho, I brought up my ethereal roomate and the strange goings-on. To my utter shock I was then informed that a man died in my apartment, which was then the basement, when he fell down the stairs. That was about all the details I got, as the person telling me was a kid when he heard it and didn't know much more.

It's nice to be validated though, especially when it comes to the paranormal. Most people tend to think there's one too many bats in the belfry when you start talking like that. Not that my family isn't used to it by now as I've had more than a fair share of unexplained things happen to me throughout my life. But as far as the average person goes, it tends to make it more believable once you've confirmed a death at the location.

I plan on doing a little more research and trying to find out who this Cat was. There are a few impressions that I get and I am curious to find out if they are accurate. He seems like a nice enough guy and all, so I suppose he can stay. Too bad he can't help with the rent.

I'll keep you updated. Ciao.

Car Go BOOM!

Well as some of you may or may not know, I was in a pretty bad car accident on Monday morning. I, for the most part I suppose, am ok... but I can't say the same for my car unfortunately. It's totaled.

I am bed-ridden for the time being, with occasion to check my email and frequented websites as I limp to and from the bathroom or kitchen. Sitting in the computer chair for too long has proven to be quite uncomfortable for me at this point due to neck and back pain. (I had to write this in 3 parts) After a visit to a local hospital I have decided to spend the coming days with a heating pad and a steady flow of hot chocolate close by. I'll be taking it very, very easy. I don't have much of a choice anyway since even taking a deep breath sends pain shooting throughout my ribcage.

So Monday was sort of a surreal morning for me anyway, as I did not sleep well the previous night and had bizarre, somewhat disturbing dreams when I did. I woke up very early as well. That in itself is odd as I am usually waking up late and then rushing around the apartment trying to get out of the house on time.

It was a rainy and cold morning and I remembered seeing black ice warnings on tv that morning. It was the first morning I had heard it so far this season. My normal drive up Rte.1 north was a little slower than usual due to the weather and heavy traffic after the holiday weekend. About halfway into my ride it happened.

I was driving in the fast lane (it's a 3 lane highway), going about 45 mph, when the car in front of me broke hard. I broke hard in response which sent me flying into at least 1 1/2 full spins. My car stalled and landed in the fast lane facing the middle and slow lanes. So basically, I was horizontally blocking the entire fast lane.

For a moment I breathed a sigh of releif that I had not hit anyone and thought I'd just be restarting my car and heading out. Well, that was until I took a look to my right at the oncoming traffic and realized there was a car barreling towards me. I had just enough time in that split second to whisper, "Oh fuck..", grip the steering wheel to brace myself and close my eyes. Then it came... BOOM!!!!!!!

I swear my ears are still ringing. I can't get the sound out of my head. The impact must have lifted me up off the seat becasue I was sitting on top of virtually everything that was laying on the passenger seat afterward. I shook and cried until the police and paramedics arrived. I couldnt feel a goddamn thing, my adreniline was rushing so hard that I felt high. I declined the ambulance and had Bob (bff) pick me up at the scene.

Once I got home I realized my right foot was scraped and swollen. I'm pretty sure that I smashed both of them off of the underneath of the dash. Not to mention that the crash had thrown my shoes clean off my feet. After the adreniline wore off though I was in a world of hurt, yesterday being the worst of it. My entire ribcage feels like someone took a bat to it and I have sharp little pains starting at the base of my neck and shooting down my spine. Every muscle in my body is stiff and the right side of my back is even swollen. I spent most of last evening in the ER getting checked out. There's nothing seriously wrong, but I'm pretty beat up.

I got the official call this morning that the car is a total loss. I have to go remove my stuff from it tonight. Today I am really feeling the exhaustion, mentally and physically, of the last two days. If it werent for the loud-ass construction going on outside, I'd still be in sedative land.

Anywho, my brain just pooped out and if there is anything more to this story I can't even think of what it is. I'll certainly update this situation after another nap or two,... or five.