Due to my financial status I have been forced into vegetarianism.It's not the good kind of vegetarianism where I go to a farmer's market and buy fresh, local produce all the while contributing to a small family owned buisness... and maybe feed a carrot to a llama while I'm there... or some shit.
No, it's the kind where I eat enormous amounts of ramen noodles, mayonnaise sandwiches and dented cans of soup that were on sale for 50% off.
Hell, I can't even afford vegetables. What would you even call an eating habit like that? Well, besides totally fucking shit-tastic that is...
Basically, everything I eat has all the nutritional value of a cardboard sandwich on styrofoam bread with a side of newspaper chips.
I should have scurvy... I think. Isn't that the one pirates got when they didn't have vitamin c? Harrrrrrr!
I'd kill for a fucking chicken nugget. Seriously, you could hire me to "off" your good for nothing husband so you can collect his life insurance money and move to South Beach if you just took me to Burger King and let me hit up the dollar menu.
3 comments:
It's called "The Poverty Diet." :P
Look on the bright side of vegetarianism (voluntary or otherwise): You can have the pleasure of guilt-tripping carnivores! :P
Nah I leave that to PETA. I don't care enough about other people to bother laying guilt on them. =)
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